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    Not So Resolute…


    2008 - 12.30

    Posted in authors, life, movies, new years, resolutions, thoughts, writing | Comments Off

    It’s time again to make those New Year’s resolutions. So, what are mine? Well, I’m not bothering with it this year. Why? I always thought they were pointless. We make our resolutions, start off January full-force working at them, and by summer they’re a distant memory. Don’t get me wrong; we have the best of intentions. But life carries on. So few of us keep to our resolutions, I would rather not kid myself.

    This year will be another year of great change for me. I have things to accomplish and things to look forward to. Some friends who drifted by the wayside will stay in the shadows this year. People come and go in our lives at different times so I understand the cycles. Yet other friends who have been long absent will be returning. It’s a trade-off: some fade while others re-emerge. I’ll accept it for what it is: an evolutionary process.

    I’ve taken a few breaks from research to amuse myself with reading and films. So many sad lives. As I watched the commentary for The Bad Seed, I was frustrated by the lack of knowledge behind the film. Neither commentator knew about the author of the novel on which it was based, William March. He died two years before the film was made. And the interesting tidbit behind knowing how loved this film is by gay men? March, the author, was gay. He also thought the book was crap. Of all his works, it was the one he wasn’t proud of. Yet it’s what he is remembered for. How ironic.

    Yet that’s the writer’s curse. We judge our work and the critics (and audiences) have an entirely different view.

    It only reinforces how unpredictable life really is. People we believe will be around forever aren’t. Things we do that we believe matter most don’t. Insignificant things end up having great meaning.

    Life is a game of Russian roulette.

    So to those of you planning out resolutions, remember that nothing ever works out exactly according to plan. Life can’t be scheduled for the proceeding year. Don’t beat yourself up if that list goes unheeded. Set your sights on goals, but be willing to be a little flexible…

    Hunting and Pecking…


    2008 - 12.28

    Posted in gay ghosts, hauntings, personal, updates, writing | Comments Off

    And so the pursuit continues…

    So far, two bed & breakfasts in Provincetown have said yes, they are haunted. I have also been tipped off about two other known haunted inns in town. Unfortunately, one of these has proved difficult to contact. It is closed for the next few months and the email I sent came back undeliverable. I can’t wait for them to reopen, so it might take some work to track down the owner. Another location invited me to check out their ghosts, but that will have to wait. I’ll discuss that with the owner this week.

    Otherwise, I’m awaiting response from two dozen places I have contacted. It’s the final push before sinking into my writing coma. Key West hasn’t yielded a single hit, but I’m not giving up without a fight. There could also be another gay haunting from Colorado if I can get the full story. One location in California hasn’t responded, so that chapter might end up getting dropped if I can’t get any verification.

    I have a stack of new reading material thanks to Santa… some for research, some for pleasure. I must take the time to tackle some reading this coming week. Otherwise, the year is slowly drawing to a close. It’s becoming as quiet as the bare trees swaying in the coldness of December. Piles of notes are stacked on my printer, waiting to become new chapters. I have two days to get organized again and have a clean desk to begin my typing. I would love to reposition my desk facing the window, but I have to check the length of the cords before even considering that.

    I’ll take the time to write up a few more posts this week before New Years. After that (and recovering from the celebration) we shall see how quickly my work progresses. I am optimistic that I can tackle my chapters at record speed, but I’d hate to jinx myself. But now it’s time for me to pack up the Christmas tree and do a little rearranging…

    Panic at the Haunted Gay Disco…


    2008 - 12.22

    Posted in books, personal, updates, writing | Comments Off

    Oh, so you noticed how long it’s been since my last post? It’s not for lack of things to say. I have a dozen odd news stories to mention, but I’m not sure how long it will be before they end up on here. Life has its own plans… and often, they change without notice.

    The next few months will be quiet. That deadline for my book has been pushed up slightly, so I have about two months to pound out a few dozen chapters and tweak things. My initial reaction was elation followed by heart-pounding terror. It’s completely doable, but all free time is now eliminated. My “la-lala, this is fun and fascinating” view of the manuscript will turn into “AAH! I’ll absorb it all later! Just write it down now!” in the ensuing months. New Years will be my one chance to socialize before the snow melts here in Ohio. The darkest, coldest days of winter will be spent chained to my laptop, making phone calls and sending emails to track down people about the book. But it’ll be worth it. Come this Halloween, I’ll be able to stop in a bookstore and see my name on the shelf. And the crazed flurry of writing will subside… in its place will be my amusement listening to people comment on the book without realizing the author is listening in.

    Another valuable lesson of life: good things come from blood, sweat and tears. Nothing is easy. Hard work and diligence pays off down the road. If you want to accomplish something, brace yourself for a long time of trailblazing and sacrifice. Which is what I’m setting out on now. I’ll forgo everything else that comes my way as I plow through this project. As the tulips poke through the thawed ground, I too will emerge from my cocoon of literary hibernation. It means sporadic blogging and setting other tasks aside, but it has to be done.

    Just one week left before the dawn of a new year. And what a year it will be…

    A Little Christmas Spirit…


    2008 - 12.17

    Posted in bed and breakfasts, gay, hauntings, paranormal, provincetown, research, writing | Comments Off

    Today has been quite a crazy day. I finished the last of my holiday baking so that’s one more thing to check off the to-do list. And I made a little headway with research for my book! I spent the afternoon having a delightful chat with Jim Rizzo about the haunted bed & breakfast he runs with his partner Dave in Provincetown: Christopher’s by the Bay.

    While they do try to be skeptical and seek logical explanations, there have been some bizarre happenings. Unfortunately, they haven’t been able to uncover much history on the Victorian home since many records were destroyed in a fire in 1920. Luckily, my research skills are still sharp. Even being several hundred miles away, I tracked down the original owner’s name and historical information. I just sent that off to him moments ago… a little early present for them.

    They are discussing the idea of having “psychic nights” during the off-peak season and hopefully once my book is in stores, I’ll be able to arrange a few events there in 2010. It’s quite a beautiful old place. If you happen to find yourself in the oldest art colony in the United States, be sure to stop by Christopher’s or book a few nights there on the quiet street. Hopefully, the Encyclopedia Britannicas in your room will stay on the shelf…

    Otherwise, I’m continuing with my editing work while tackling as much research as the holidays allow (which isn’t quite enough, since so many people are preparing to leave town). I have many emails to pound out and a few phone calls (including one to a gay psychic with firsthand information about one location for the book), but that will have to wait until 2009. So much to do… but it’s the little things that bring be much joy.

    But no slacking allowed for me. Back to work!

    Scrooged…


    2008 - 12.15

    Posted in christmas, holidays, opinions, people, thoughts | Comments Off

    One week left until Christmas. I can’t wait… for it all to be over, that is.

    Perhaps it sounds rude of me to not extol the glories of the holiday season. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Caroling through snow-swept neighborhoods. Glittering lights and jingling bells. But that isn’t Christmas anymore. It’s a nightmare of rudeness, bombardment by family, and the worst fright of them all: American consumerism run rampant. That’s right: the absurd notion that the holidays mean nothing more than getting the biggest, most expensive gifts.

    The heart of Christmas is dead. In its place is greedy materialism wrapped in a phony red bow. Good will toward men went out the window with George Bailey and Clarence the angel in pursuit of some shred of hope. The little things–the scent of pine boughs, being with loved ones by a roaring fire, and yuletide feasts–are forgotten memories of a bygone era. Simple pleasures no longer exist.

    It’s depressing and infuriating to see people clamber for bargains, trinkets, and gadgets, pushing and fighting over meaningless objects. And that, I’m sorry to inform you, is what all these “deals” are: empty nothingness. Something to be forgotten in another month. Another toy to add to the pile and keep children from realizing they have an imagination. Another gizmo to impress people with nothing better to do with their time than keep up with the Joneses. Piles of junk that will one day line another methane-manufacturing landfill which will serve as the foundation for another useless chain store selling more of what is buried inches beneath the feet of its shoppers.

    Yes, there are things I would truly like to have. But the important things I wish for most can’t be found in glittery wrapping paper beneath a tree. They can’t be bought or sold or picked up last-minute in the final shopping rush. Good company. A sense of belonging. Time. Love. Understanding. Just like that G-scale train set or airplane ticket to Sydney, they’re not bound to appear this year suddenly on the 25th.

    I live in a bitter world of materialism. Not by choice, but by surroundings. There are many good people out there, yet many choose to hibernate through the chaos like myself. I still believe these intangible gifts are out there and I see a peek of them from time to time. Yet they’re the least likely gifts any of us will receive. They require honest effort, not a padded wallet. They come from the heart, not from a cold store shelf.

    The greatest gift we can ever give is care. It can be as simple as the phrase “I’m sorry” said in honesty. It’s telling someone how much they mean to you instead of what they can buy you. It’s setting aside those few free minutes in your day for someone special. It’s giving a hand to someone who needs a little help or politely opening that door for someone. The smallest efforts make the greatest impact.

    Instead, I watch the crowds hurry along with blind eyes in pursuit of plastic treasure.

    Bah, humbug.

    One Starry Night…


    2008 - 12.13

    Posted in astrology, personal, websites | Comments Off

    I had to share a little astrological bit with you all, courtesy of AstroBarry. I often find myself reading his horoscope for amusement and just to see how close to the current state of affairs it is. Often, he is dead-on… but even if you don’t believe in the Zodiac, his words of wisdom are worth a gander.

    Here is mine for this past week:


    ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your sign, Aries, is one of leadership… at least in the sense that, generally speaking, you Mars-ruled types don’t often wait around for others to give you permission to do that which moves you. You just pick yourself up—sometimes without even thinking things all the way through (which, incidentally, isn’t always a bad thing)—and launch into it. Aries-style leadership, as such, isn’t a ’stand up in front of everybody and tell them what to do’ didacticism. Rather, it’s more the ‘grab a machete and cut a new path through the brush’ variety, inspiring others to follow through your own actions. And gosh darn, don’t we all need a little bit of such guidance-through-example (as opposed to hot-air declarations) right about now? The time is now upon us, Aries, when we need you to step up to the plate and occupy the unmistakable public role of defiant pioneer, the leader who takes it upon him/herself to create something new (and, in the process, to ignore something old) wherever it’s become obvious that official ‘talk’ of principles has gapingly diverged from actual behavior. This is a role you mustn’t try to avoid, nor one that’s short-lived… and chances are, either very soon or a bit later, you will piss somebody off and/or cause some fracture that may not be reparable. No matter. Among us all, you are one of the bravest, overflowing with ‘fuck it’ attitude when it’s most needed. Apparently, it’s needed now.

    Thar She Blows…


    2008 - 12.12

    Posted in beliefs, ghosts, opinions, paranormal, religion, thoughts | Comments Off

    In the past few months, I have been bombarded with conflicting views and beliefs ranging from pure science to total mysticism. People bring up interesting points about the supernatural, some strong in their convictions and crusading for a new path in either extreme. Coupled with the experience of watching countless organizations spring up and start at the same square all others have before, it makes you think. And it makes me remember my own journey at a younger age.

    Watching everyone paving trails and bolstering their “new” views reminds me of a quote I stumbled across several months ago. If anything, it sums up my stance better than anything else.

    “I used to want to change the world. Now I just want to leave the room with a little dignity.”

    The paranormal realm is comparable to the Greek king Sisyphus repeatedly pushing a massive boulder uphill only to watch it roll back to the bottom. Each new investigator enters the scene with delusions of grandeur, only to end up in the same rut pushing another rock. It wears you down until many people either give up or lose ambition. Most never achieve pop star status. Irrefutable evidence becomes the elusive great white whale. Ghost hunters turn into bearded Ishmaels with EMF detectors.

    The sad truth is we may never find Moby Dick. No amount of believing or disbelieving will change that. It becomes a bitter curse. The cold, calculable world of science takes a toll on our beliefs.

    Yet I like to picture life with some magic and mystery left in it. Many people hold some religious principles to be true without hard science. Are they wrong for doing so? Hardly. It is a human condition to have some form of faith. Faith holds society together. It gives reason to hope and avoids complete chaos. Just imaging a world absent of beliefs and faith. No consequences in the hereafter. No morals. No good triumphing over evil. Every man and woman for himself in a blind, unscrupulous fight for survival. It would mean a real Armageddon with disastrous results.

    The existence of ghosts may rely on faith, but that doesn’t make it a sect, necessarily. Spirituality deals with the intangible. Ideas, thoughts, and principles. The pursuit of spirits is about perceivable phenomena: touch, smell, sight, and sound. While belief in ghosts may be a form of religion, the pursuit is perceptibly different.

    Should everyone believe in ghosts? Not at all. It is not my life’s ambition to play Jesus and attempt to convert masses of people to some new religion. I lay my views and opinions out on the table allowing anyone who wants to look and gather from it what they wish. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. If you want to know the answer to the existence of ghosts, find out for yourself. That has been my stance for many years and will not change. I’m not a prophet. If anything, I’m a tour guide.

    At least by directing supernatural tourists, my dignity remains relatively unscathed.

    Deck the Halls with Bows of Drama…


    2008 - 12.11

    Posted in celebrities, drama, opinions, psychics, television, thoughts | Comments Off

    Every so often, I take a peek at the fascinating drama happening in the paranormal community. The bickering and name-calling, often surrounding people in the media. (Hey at least it’s not about me, for once.) After a brief glimpse months ago at a thread surrounding Chip Coffey, I decided to revisit the mudslinging and see what had been said. If I’ve learned anything it’s that time is a wonderful thing. Truth sorts itself out miles down the road.

    Now I try to be open-minded to all sides in arguments (which creates issues in itself), and I’m far from a perfect person. I get caught up in the wave of dissent and make a few blunders. I do my best to keep a sense of humor, though, and avoid lambasting people with definitive statements. I see all sides of everything.

    For those not “in the know”, a woman accused members of Paranormal State of faking results. Wow… isn’t that a first? I’m hard pressed to find any group or show that hasn’t met controversy. Are the allegations true? Honestly, I have no idea. Depending on who you ask, you’ll get a different answer.

    While allegations are often plausible, it’s the after-effects that end up revealing clues. And in this case, it does strike me strange that someone feeling jilted by free publicity would begin charging people to visit her haunted home. Is it proof positive? No, but a red flag goes up.

    People have misconceptions about television and those who appear on a screen. I have known writers, filmmakers, actors, and other individuals in the public eye. Yes, what you see isn’t always exact reality. “Improv” can be scripted. Troubles brew on the set. And often, the visible people face the brunt of it all. Anyone who knows the behind-the-scenes workings can tell you that it’s a totally different world from what appears to the viewer. Even in “reality television”, nothing is as it appears.

    An old friend of mine stepped away from the movie world for good in recent years. Seeing all I witness, I know why. It’s not about being a bad actor or not finding work. It’s about sanity, avoiding rumor mills, and wanting a normal life. And there is no fault in that. If he wants to work at a restaurant and come home to his other half, it doesn’t mean “he couldn’t cut it” or “has a pathetic life”, as some could suggest. Fame has its price. Getting out of the downward spiral and nightmarish hellstorm while you can is wise.

    But back to Chip, Ryan, and the drama.

    So, what do I believe? I think that there is a lot the general public doesn’t know about every single show and film ever made. I believe that truth is relative. And I still have faith that truth wins out over all else. Not a satisfactory answer? Sorry. I have heard so many things about so many people over the years. I’ve watched message boards fill up with rumors while knowing the truth. I’ve been called a liar, fake, and charlatan. I have tried to tell the truth to defend people only to be told I was “making it up for fame”. Then, when truth finally rears its head, people magically forget that someone had their facts straight.

    I know the burning questions people want an answer to: is Chip a fraud? Is Ryan vain? Is the woman a greedy sod? I’m not here to answer those things. I’m here to find amusement in humanity. Our petty babblings and stupid assumptions. I play devil’s advocate to test the waters. I have psychic friends who have come under attack (actually, every single one has). I also have friends who felt jilted by celebrities. It bothers me to be forced into the middle, so I refuse to do it. A friend of mine from Florida emailed me about a psychic on television who “stole” his television show idea and ran with it. Since the show is currently on air, I’m not saying another word. But I avoided commenting back about that. They’re both adult men and can duke it out themselves. I refuse to take sides with either one. Why? Because I don’t have all the facts. I get along with most everyone and intend to stay that way. I’m not here to say which psychic is better than the other.

    To be honest, I like Chip. And I give him credit for holding his own with all the trash that goes around. Does that mean that everyone I know, associate with, or befriend likes him? Hardly. But so what? I’m Switzerland. I indulge all sides in their say. Switzerland harbored refugee Jews and laundered Nazi money. Do I agree with everyone? No. But in this world of name-calling and mean words, I tend to keep quiet about my own views. Trying to be friendly with everyone is one of the most difficult tasks in the world. Yet one thing holds true: often, the people who accuse others of certain behaviors and deeds are guilty of the same things. That’s why I smile. it’s merely a suppressed laugh.

    And for those of you who want answers, I’ll give you one. You’ll probably never know the real answers to these questions. Is psychic X legit and psychic Y a fraud? Find out for yourself. Judge people by their character and compassion and not popularity or rumors. Most of us are undecided on the truth behind psychic ability. Yet I have had things told to me by psychics which ended up being true. I’ve also had horrible readings that were nothing but trash. I’ve known arrogant psychics who saw themselves as demigods and hesitant ones who worried about every word they said.

    Am I a little biased with who I like? Of course. Aren’t we all? I’m not perfect nor am I entirely neutral. Those are two impossibilities in humanity. And I am human… last I checked. I can be lead astray. I make errors in judgement. I put my foot in my mouth. But at least I’m sensible enough to admit it. If I laugh at the world’s stupidity, shouldn’t I laugh at my own?

    And Then There Were None…


    2008 - 12.10

    Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

    www.daywithoutagay.org

    Not Easy Being Green…


    2008 - 12.09

    Posted in personal, updates, weekend, work, writing | Comments Off

    Another weekend survived. Dodging strange people and the mentally ill, I relaxed with a few friends Saturday night. And yes, I had some well-deserved margaritas, thank you very much. Is that a crime, I ask? And no, I wasn’t sick as a dog the following day. Exhausted, yes. Under the weather? No. Just a bit sore from climbing stairs, cleaning like a madman, and dodging debris.

    As always, I’m behind with many things. I have editing to tackle, blogs to catch up on, a disaster I call my desk begging to be uncovered, and plenty of my own writing and research to pounce upon. One thing I’ve learned in life is that there are two possible modes: complete utter boredom and overwhelming chaos. We shift between the two. And now, my life is headed toward the latter.

    I’m quite good at jinxing myself, so I’ll keep tight-lipped about some things until I feel safe tossing everything out there for the universe to listen. I will say that things are going splendidly. I am making headway in more ways than one. But this week, I have plenty of things to tackle. Emails to send and await replies. Voraciously reading, rereading, and revising written work. Piles of notes to sift through, write legibly, and add to. And that pesky pattern for a stuffed animal to create.

    December needs to slow down a smidge.

    So forgive me if my posts are erratic. It will all be explained in due time, but for now I’ll use the excuse of pre-holiday insanity. Time is not on my side and Norman Meade should be shot for suggesting anything of the sort. As we count down the final weeks of 2008, this year certainly is heading for a bang.

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