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    Odd News Briefs…


    2008 - 11.26

    In the last few busy weeks, several news stories fell through the cracks. Here’s a little glimpse at some of the obscure events happening around the globe.

    Keep You on Your Toes…

    Darlington, Victoria has a new claim to fame: it will soon be home to Australia’s first “vertical cemetery”. Bodies will be buried on biodegradable shrouds standing upright at a cost of $2000—that’s a savings of $5000 on a traditional burial. After all the plots are filled, it will become grazing and for cattle (gives a while new meaning to being put out to pasture, doesn’t it?). Critics in the mortuary business say it’s “disrespectful to the dead” but in these tough economic times, people aren’t too shook up over their rotting corpses.

    Mobile Monolith…

    After selling their historic manor in Abbotts Court, John and Suzy Burton planned to leave a stone circle constructed by fashion guru Thomas Burberry at the site. The developer made clear his plans to demolish the neo-pagan structure, so the couple decided to take it with them. Neighbors were caught off guard as trucks and cranes descended on the suburbs of Dorchester, setting up the the massive stones. Both practicing witches, the Burtons brought their coven to consecrate the grounds. The added positive energy to the neighborhood has been quite wel-received.

    Sweet Astronomy…

    Do extraterrestrials have a sweet tooth? It’s possible, since scientists recently found traces of glycoaldehyde—an organic compound related to simple sugar—some 26,000 light years from earth. The discovery, in a remote section of the central Milky Way where life was thought to be impossible, has brought up questions about other life forms existing in space. But the real, burning question is: one lump or two?

    Wolf Man No More…

    People suffering from “Werewolf Syndrome” may soon be able to live normal lives. Scientists at New York’s Colombia University have made advances in a possible treatment for hypertrichosis, involving testosterone injections. 50 people wordwide suffer from the disease, leading to excessive hair growth over the entire body. This is good news for patients, but bad news for razor manufacturers and circus sideshows.

    They’re Always After Me Lucky Anal Probes…


    2008 - 08.07

    Floridian Lloyd Deneau, 41, was recently on a vacation to Lake Tahoe, on the California/Nevada border. Like most tourists, he took plenty of photographs.

    One seemed to turn up something interesting.

    Dubbed by his children as the “leprechaun-alien”, the wee three-foot creature turned up in a photograph of the wooded wilderness. Lloyd swears there was no one or thing there at the time he took the photo. It was only after downloading the photos to his computer that the anomaly showed up.

    “I have a military background and don’t really believe in aliens,” he said, “but I can’t explain this.”

    Leprechaun, alien, elf, or baby bigfoot? Everyone is speculating yet no one seems to be certain. But I highly doubt the real answer involves a pot of gold…

    An Alien Evacuation?


    2008 - 07.17

    In May, surveillance cameras were set up near Green Lane Reservoir in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. Park officials were attempting to capture footage of a bear believed to be roaming the area. Instead, the footage revealed something else.

    If you pay close attention to the lower right side of the video below, you will see what appears to be an alien. But wait. What is he doing? Is he doing what I think he’s doing?

    Was he hiding, or did nature call while in nature? You decide…

    And if you’re ever in the woods and see green poo, don’t touch it!

    So We’re All Aussie Aliens?


    2008 - 07.03

    Last week, the small town of Marlinja in Australia’s Northern Territory claims to have had otherworldly visitors. According to some of the 112 residents, four UFOs descended upon the town. Bright red lights were accompanied by a loud, strange sound which shook the ground. Janie Dixon’s phone rang, but when she tried to answer it, the line went dead.

    Surprisingly, UFOs have been spotted many times in Australia. And some people claim to know the strange connection aliens might have with this land.

    It was where they began populating the earth.

    A well-known feature of the Northern Territory is Uluru, or Ayers Rock. Hidden withing the crevices are ancient Aboriginal paintings and inscriptions. One of these has ufologists talking.

    Once upon a time, in a distant past, a huge red ‘egg’ had difficulties to safely reach the ground and crashed. Out of the ‘egg’ emerged white-skinned beings, followed by their children. The adults had problems adapting to the Earth’s atmosphere and died. The children managed to survive.

    So, according to Aboriginal beliefs, something landed in the Outback a very long time ago and brought with it life as we know it. According to Bill Chalker, connections with aliens still exist in rituals and legends passed along in some tribes to this day. Early settlers even reported strange phenomena around the continent.

    Then, of course, there’s the question about Uluru itself. It, along with three other nearby formations, resemble triangles. Some ufologists and enthusiasts say these do not resemble natural structures. In satellite images of the anomalies, the triangles appear to have similar characteristics and are even oriented in the same direction.

    Uluru itself is believed by Aborigines to have an energy source, Tjukurpa, beneath it. There have been a few times in history the rock has changed color.

    Is this proof of the past visitation of extra-terrestrials? The question is still unanswered and hotly debated. Many natural structures almost appear to be man-made. And as for the native tales passed down, there could be more symbolism than fact to the words. Looking up into the vastness of the night sky, it’s easy to imagine our early ancestors forming fantastic tales from the great unknown.

    But could there be some truth to the mythology?

    More importantly, does this theory mean that I can claim to be Australian through ancestral lineage?

    No Signs of Intelligent Life Here…


    2008 - 04.23

    Are aliens really out there?

    Given the odds, it’s more than likely that life does exist on other planets. But are they dimwits?

    Stephen Hawking, the well-known astrophysicist, posed this question Monday during a lecture at George Washington University. “Primitive life is very common and intelligent life is very rare. Some would say it has yet to occur on earth.”

    This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t continue to explore space. Hawking compared space exploration to the voyages of Christopher Columbus. The benefits simply outweigh the risks. “Just think,” he said, “we wouldn’t have a Big Mac or KFC.”

    Who new he had a sense of humor?

    Intelligent life is a relative term. Who is to say that we’re not the idiots? Just because we can’t detect “Zongregian Idol” being broadcast over the galaxies doesn’t mean there couldn’t be a life form out there with more sophisticated knowledge sending out messages that we have yet to comprehend.

    To claim that we’re the smartest creatures in existence is just as foolish as calling the Titanic “unsinkable”. It’s just begging to be proved wrong.