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    With Chips on the Side…


    2008 - 10.09

    Something fishy is happening along the Nepal-India border. Those unwise enough to bathe in the waters of the Great Kali may find it to be their final cleansing. Teenagers have gone missing and a few spectators have watched helplessly as people are pulled into the river.

    By what, you ask? Killer catfish.

    It may sound like the plot of a low-budget science fiction movie, but giant catfish (called Goonch, or more specifically Bagarius yarelli) are killing people. And just like any good movie script, the locals have a theory to accompany this taste for human blood and flesh.

    The river is a popular place for funeral pyres. They conclude that the partially burnt corpses sink into the river bottom where catfish feed. Over the years, these Goonch have munched away on the dead bodies and found that although we are often menacing, we are also mighty tasty morsels. With the newfound pallet, the fish have taken to snagging live humans to feed their hungers.

    Don’t be fooled by visions of deep-fried catfish on plates. These monsters have been hooked at upwards of six feet long and weighing in at 161 pounds. Biologist Jeremy Wade recently launched an investigation of the Goonch catfish and will report his findings on a television documentary. Flesh Eating River Monsters is slated to air on UK’s Channel 5 on October 23.

    But She’s My Spawn Too!


    2008 - 07.10

    Lawyers aren’t always the evil ones in court…

    The courts in Rochester, Indiana are dealing with yet another divorce custody dispute. Both of Jamie Meyer’s ex-wives are trying to take away custody of their children. Kristie, his most recent ex, is sighting their difference in religion: she is Christian and Meyers is a Satanist. Oh yeah, and he owes back child support too…

    Both former wives complain that his religious beliefs interfere with their childrearing. He doesn’t allow his daughters to have time to attend Christian church and, according to the mothers, his beliefs are an “embarrassment” to them all. Misty Hoff, Meyer’s first ex-wife, claims he has alienated his eldest daughter by dubbing her Christian beliefs ‘hypocritical’.

    Indiana court experts say the burden lies on the wives to show that the religion is somehow harmful to the children. Yet Meyers needs to prove that Satanism is an authentic religion.

    Many people have a jaded perception of Satanists. It is not about animal sacrifice or deity worship. In fact, Satanism is about worshiping the self and is quite atheistic.

    In all fairness, the best solution would be to allow the children time to attend traditional church as well as the Church of Satan, giving them equal opportunity to form their own religious views. With the negative stereotypes of non-Christian beliefs in America, this may not be possible.

    Tell the truth… and shame the Devil.