• About the Author
  • Archives
  • Categories
  • Return to Queer Paranormal
  • Archive for the ‘pregnancy’ Category

    Panic and the Disco


    2008 - 02.23

    Sexuality and its origins have always been a fiercely debated subject. Is it genetic? Is it a learned trait? Is it both? Even though science has discovered several possibilities, no one can agree.

    I heard a stand-up comedian once discuss a German study involving stress and homosexuality. It turns out, her routine was based in fact. The Dresden Study, as it has become known, noted that during World War II, a higher-than-normal percentage of infants born during the bombing of the city ended up being gay or lesbian. Dr. Günter Dörner published his findings in 1982 (Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 11, No. 5, 1982, pp. 445–450). Researchers in America and the United Kingdom confirmed that the stress chromosome cortisol may lead to a decrease in testosterone, causing infants to become homosexual.

    Lately, there’s been a rise in researchers trying to find physical differences to “weed out” gays and lesbians: the length of ring fingers, left-handedness, number of older brothers, hair patterns, fingerprints, etc. In most circumstances, the traits apply to “many” gays and lesbians, but not all.

    So, where do I register on the plethora of scientific babble floating around in cyberspace? Well, my mother suffered from panic attacks during her pregnancy. Check. I am left-handed (supposedly, gays and lesbians are more inclined to be left-handed… us south paws are better with spatial tasks, i.e. art, science, math, architecture, and everyday life). Check. My index finger is shorter than my ring finger. Oops. My hair has a clockwise whorl. Oops. I have no brothers. Oops. I didn’t dress like a girl as a child. Oops. I played with toy cars and trains as a child. Oops.

    So, science hasn’t quite figured things out. Hopefully, they never will. Why do I say that? very simple: it would create a basis for discrimination and extermination. Mothers could choose whether or not to abort a child who might grow up to be homosexual. People with certain key features could be ostracized or excluded from activities and society. Though the world would not instantaneously become an intolerant place, it would be a better breeding ground for people with malevolent intentions.

    My sister is pregnant with her first child. With all the dysfunctional genes and health issues running in our family, it will be quite interesting to see how he or she turns out.

    I’ll try not to stress her out too much to test the hypothesis.

    A New Year, A New Life


    2008 - 01.25

    I’ve had my interesting moment for today. I found out that in September, I’ll be an uncle.

    Yes, the family curse of dysfunctionality can now finally be passed along to another generation!

    I knew my sister has been hoping to have a child. I guess it was a bit earlier than I expected. But of course, the best part is I can finally start feeling old! I’ve been so looking forward to that.

    Even more importantly, I can finally earn the title “the funny uncle” (and I don’t mean ‘humorous’…).

    What? What’s wrong with me? Where’s my enthusiasm?

    I’ve just never really been a “children person”, I guess. Of course I’m happy for her, though. I’m just not the type to go ga-ga (ahem) over a baby. There’s no real mystery to them. They don’t fall in a fiery blaze from the sky only once every thousand years. They’re not a newly-discovered extinct species of plant. It’s a baby. A lot of people have them! When you plant a tomato seed in the ground, people don’t flock from miles around when it sprouts!

    Honestly, no, I’m not a bitter person. I just don’t see what the huge deal is! I don’t hate children at all, mind you (well, maybe the poorly raised, idiot kids who would’ve had a better chance being raised by wolves than their idiot parents wandering around Wal-Mart at all hours of the night gabbing away on their cell phones, as if choosing potato chips is a national emergency that the world needs broadcast on a minute-by-minute basis). I just like to see the end result before I see if there should be some praise.

    I know a single father, raising a young son in Pennsylvania. His son is an incredible kid. Polite, fun-loving, sweet. To me, that’s far more worthy of praise than the unknown lying ahead.

    Go ahead. Think I’m backward. But the next time you see some child shooting another child on the news, remember: his birth was praised too.