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    When "Horny" is a Bad Thing…


    2009 - 06.26

    Want the holy ghost in you? Feeling possessed by one of those pesky gay demons? Well, you might be in luck. All you need is a little help from the friendly folks at Manifested Glory Ministries of Bridgeport, Connecticut. After all, they helped someone out recently. The church held an exorcism to rid a teen boy of his homosexuality, hence equating it with demonic possession.

    Reverend Patricia McKinney and her cult… I mean congregation… performed what they called a “casting out of spirits” (because she thinks the ‘exorcism’ label isn’t accurate) three separate times on a 16-year-old boy (the reverend claimed he was 18) at his request. he writhed on the floor, vomiting up the “evil”, while onlookers made such priceless statements as “Loose your grip, Lucifer!” and “Right now in the name of Jesus, I call the homosexuality, right now in the name of Jesus!

    When did homosexuality suddenly become an object or energy? I missed that memo.

    So, what do you to when you get rid of the “homosexuality demon”? You post it on YouTube, of course! I guess they figured they already had a website and the best way to scare the hell out of people (no pun intended) is to be were the action is. Activist groups and citizens are up in arms about the video, since taken down by the flock. But the church stands by their actions. McKinney, who calls herself a “prophet”, told the press, “”Every Sunday we call people up to the altar who want to be delivered from any spirit that causes them to not be able to function. We were just beginning to worship the Lord and all of a sudden he hit the floor.”

    “Manifested Glory Ministries is not against homosexuality. We do not hate them,” the reverend said. “We do not come up against them. We do just not believe in their lifestyle.” I’m sure it makes sense to someone. Is that anything like a double negative?

    And did their purging work? According to the executive director of True Colors, Robin McHeavin, the boy told their organization he has since been “engaging in risky behavior”. I guess if you take something out of someone, you just have to put it back in.

    This is actual footage from the “exorcism”:

    Flair Apparent…


    2009 - 04.05

    Some of you may be aware of recent news pertaining to a scientific contest of sorts, seeing what people think of submitted “ghost photographs”. The study, led by psychologist Dr. Richard Wiseman, allowed viewers to vote on which “supernatural” images were most convincing that ghosts exist. The winner was a ghostly image in a window of Tantallon Castle in Scotland. Another 30-year-old photo was later submitted showing a figure in approximately the same window by a different tourist. Both images appear to be unaltered.

    But that’s not why I mention all this. It’s what a ‘reporter’ said about the whole thing that really made it interesting…

    Leave it to ChristWire to bend reality askew and leave you thinking, “oh, no, she didn’t…” An article posted on the site made a few absurd remarks that seemed all too appropriate for this blog:

    Of all pictures submitted, the one that troubled viewers the most was that of a gay spirit that was seen spooking about Tantallon Castle in Scotland. The specter’s sexual preference is obvious as it is wearing very flamboyant clothing, much like you would see a man in San Francisco. The photograph is said to be taken by a gentleman named Christopher Aitchison…

    This photograph is scientifically verified as authentic and proves once again that gay spirits roam the Earth, and can lure people to the sinful traps of homosexuality.

    Obviously, someone understands NOTHING about formal attire pre-1960. Haven’t most people bothered to look at a painting of Shakespeare or glanced at a few woodcuts while being taught about medieval times? And then, there’s the assumption that it’s male and not female. But honestly, do those few hundred years before the earth and humanity were magically molded into shape by god almighty really matter?? It’s as absurd as dinosaurs. Right? I mean, come on. Scientists really need to stop planting these frauds to put down Creationism…

    As if we didn’t have enough hassle from the Moral Minority when we’re alive. Now, when we’re dead, we’re still trying to earn our toasters?? Oh yeah. That’s right. We’re supposedly possessed by demons anyway. I’m just glad the pope doesn’t dress flamboyantly…

    Oops. Nevermind. The ghost of Liberace called. He wants his wardrobe back.

    Strange, But True News…


    2009 - 03.04

    It’s been a while, but here are some news snippets from the past few months collecting dust in my bookmarks. About time I did this again!

    The Fork-Bending Truth…

    Think the movie Push with its government psychics is a bunch of Hollywood hocus pocus? Think again. Retired Colonel John Alexander recently spoke to Maxim about his experiences with psychokinesis behind closed US Intelligence doors. His experiences made a believer out of him, though they aren’t as spectacular as movie special effects. It’s enough to make you want to concentrate on your cutlery.

    It’s Called a ‘Wake’ for a Reason…

    Back in December, Gregory & Carr Funerals in Sydney came up with a new way to attract business. Customers purchasing pre-paid services were entered into a drawing to win an espresso machine. Coffee does tend to bring people together. Just ask any of the hundreds of coffee shops across the globe. But prizes for dying? Too bad the recipient won’t have the pleasure of enjoying the brew.

    Fairy Troubles…

    Petersfield may not have a chance to celebrate mythology this spring. Some council members worry that the event, geared toward children to raise funds for Rainbow Trust, might promote “occult activities”. Sorry, kids, we know you’re gravely ill but we can’t have these metaphysical displays of imagination influencing adults.

    Paging Dr. Venkman…

    Dan Ackroyd has let the cat out of the bag. Plans are underway for a cast reunion of Ghostbusters for a third film. According to the actor, the script is in the works with filming expected to begin this fall. Akroyd himself is a believer in the paranormal. Let’s hope they don’t ruin it… maybe they can give George Bush a cameo as “the ghost of Homeand Security”.

    It’s Not Polite to Stare…

    A Detroit casino billboard has people talking… and a few unnerved. The advertisement, depicting a pair of gold-colored eyes staring down from a black background shook up a few people, and has one reverend crying “Satan”. “It looks like a demon glaring at you,” stated Rev. James Smith of Romulus, “nobody with kids in their car should be forced to look at that. No Christian should.” It’s awful pompous to think the devil would find anything worth having in Detroit these days.

    Who Would Jesus Arrest?

    The NYPD is facing legal action for placing an officer on desk duty in 2006. And rightfully so, since Dominic Maglione’s only offense is seeing a demon and promoting the “word of God”. he was hospitalized in 2006 for starving himself “because he was too busy praying”. Maglione, an evangelist proclaiming himself “godlike”, underwent psychological examination and was found to be bipolar, obsessive-compulsive, and suffering from “hyperreligiosity”. I’d say these neurotic behaviors make him fit in quite well on the New York’s police force.

    "The Power of Christ Compels You!"


    2009 - 01.30

    And here I thought that uncomfortable warmth inside was only heartburn…

    What’s really frightening is that some people actually believe this. Not possible, you say? Well, for some irritating, mind-boggling, and insane reading, check out what a British exorcist has to say.

    Thar She Blows…


    2008 - 12.12

    In the past few months, I have been bombarded with conflicting views and beliefs ranging from pure science to total mysticism. People bring up interesting points about the supernatural, some strong in their convictions and crusading for a new path in either extreme. Coupled with the experience of watching countless organizations spring up and start at the same square all others have before, it makes you think. And it makes me remember my own journey at a younger age.

    Watching everyone paving trails and bolstering their “new” views reminds me of a quote I stumbled across several months ago. If anything, it sums up my stance better than anything else.

    I used to want to change the world. Now I just want to leave the room with a little dignity.”

    The paranormal realm is comparable to the Greek king Sisyphus repeatedly pushing a massive boulder uphill only to watch it roll back to the bottom. Each new investigator enters the scene with delusions of grandeur, only to end up in the same rut pushing another rock. It wears you down until many people either give up or lose ambition. Most never achieve pop star status. Irrefutable evidence becomes the elusive great white whale. Ghost hunters turn into bearded Ishmaels with EMF detectors.

    The sad truth is we may never find Moby Dick. No amount of believing or disbelieving will change that. It becomes a bitter curse. The cold, calculable world of science takes a toll on our beliefs.

    Yet I like to picture life with some magic and mystery left in it. Many people hold some religious principles to be true without hard science. Are they wrong for doing so? Hardly. It is a human condition to have some form of faith. Faith holds society together. It gives reason to hope and avoids complete chaos. Just imaging a world absent of beliefs and faith. No consequences in the hereafter. No morals. No good triumphing over evil. Every man and woman for himself in a blind, unscrupulous fight for survival. It would mean a real Armageddon with disastrous results.

    The existence of ghosts may rely on faith, but that doesn’t make it a sect, necessarily. Spirituality deals with the intangible. Ideas, thoughts, and principles. The pursuit of spirits is about perceivable phenomena: touch, smell, sight, and sound. While belief in ghosts may be a form of religion, the pursuit is perceptibly different.

    Should everyone believe in ghosts? Not at all. It is not my life’s ambition to play Jesus and attempt to convert masses of people to some new religion. I lay my views and opinions out on the table allowing anyone who wants to look and gather from it what they wish. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. If you want to know the answer to the existence of ghosts, find out for yourself. That has been my stance for many years and will not change. I’m not a prophet. If anything, I’m a tour guide.

    At least by directing supernatural tourists, my dignity remains relatively unscathed.

    Plasma from Heaven…


    2008 - 08.12

    Some perplexing news comes from the country of Colombia last week. For a period of about 30 minutes, a 100-meter area of the village of Bagadó was deluged with red rain.

    A sample of the rain was sent to a bacteriologist and he concluded that, in fact, it was blood.

    Father Jhony Milton Cordova, a local priest, said it may be “a sign from God” telling humanity to “change their modus operandi, because mankind wants to change the course of history and be god himself.”

    Others disagree. There has been speculation about red rain for quite some time. The most likely scenario is algae. Porphyridium cruentum, a variety of red algae, actually can resemble red blood cells under a microscope, especially in large clusters. During blooms when the algae reproduction explodes, the clusters could become so large they could resemble globs of coagulated blood.

    How they would get into the atmosphere is another story altogether, though.

    On an interesting note, the hamlet was relocated to its current location back in 1994, following an avalanche. The hilltop where many of the houses now stand was also the site of the cemetery.

    The Land of Unbelieve…


    2008 - 07.21

    Remember when summer camp meant ghost stories by a campfire, swimming, games, and group hikes?

    Better toss those archaic notions out the window, you narrow-minded fools.

    Camp Inquiry is a new, different sort of summer camp. Sponsored by the Center for Inquiry, is an environment void of the supernatural and religion. Skepticism and critical thinking are encouraged. Aliens, bigfoot, and urban legends are debunked by experts and the kids, ranging from 7 to 16 years old, are taught to demand proof.

    While religion isn’t openly discussed, it seems to be a topic left for free time. The majority of the children are either atheist or secular humanist. The camp provides a stark contrast to Bible study programs, allowing them to discuss their disbelief without fear of ridicule.

    Austin and Jordan Fischer, brothers from New York City, learned of the camp from an advertisement in Skeptical Inquirer and Free Inquiry (magazines coincidentally published by the Center for Inquiry). “All the other [camps] are team building, physical stuff, a lot of playing,” said Jordan. “This is more intellectual.”

    Thankfully, cooperation, exercise, and imaginative fun won’t be ruining the summer months for these kids.

    While I’m all for encouraging children to make up their own mind on many philosophical matters of life, this just doesn’t seem “unbiased” to me. Teaching children thought, reason, and science is a wonderful thing, but what lines do you draw? Do you tell the seven-year-old that he’s a moron for believing in Santa Claus? If a child wears a cross, is he or she shunned by the counselors or deprogrammed? Does the child who believes she saw a ghost have to go in for a brain scan?

    What’s so wrong with leaving a little mystery and imagination in the world? And does science really have the answer to every, single, solitary question possible in the universe at this moment in time?

    But She’s My Spawn Too!


    2008 - 07.10

    Lawyers aren’t always the evil ones in court…

    The courts in Rochester, Indiana are dealing with yet another divorce custody dispute. Both of Jamie Meyer’s ex-wives are trying to take away custody of their children. Kristie, his most recent ex, is sighting their difference in religion: she is Christian and Meyers is a Satanist. Oh yeah, and he owes back child support too…

    Both former wives complain that his religious beliefs interfere with their childrearing. He doesn’t allow his daughters to have time to attend Christian church and, according to the mothers, his beliefs are an “embarrassment” to them all. Misty Hoff, Meyer’s first ex-wife, claims he has alienated his eldest daughter by dubbing her Christian beliefs ‘hypocritical’.

    Indiana court experts say the burden lies on the wives to show that the religion is somehow harmful to the children. Yet Meyers needs to prove that Satanism is an authentic religion.

    Many people have a jaded perception of Satanists. It is not about animal sacrifice or deity worship. In fact, Satanism is about worshiping the self and is quite atheistic.

    In all fairness, the best solution would be to allow the children time to attend traditional church as well as the Church of Satan, giving them equal opportunity to form their own religious views. With the negative stereotypes of non-Christian beliefs in America, this may not be possible.

    Tell the truth… and shame the Devil.

    The Right to Bear Wands…


    2008 - 05.13

    Even though jails are better known for taking away the rights of criminals, they still allow the convicts to practice their religious beliefs. Church services are offered around the world… and now, prisoners in England who aren’t Christian might be able to practice their beliefs.

    The Pagan Federation was consulted, which resulted in a ruling enabling Pagan prisoners some religious freedoms. They can now wear ceremonial robes, use runes, and even make their own magic wands from twigs found on prison grounds. Each “religious artefact” is subject to “risk accessment”, meaning there are some limits.

    Obviously, ceremonial knives and torches are strictly forbidden.

    Prison hospitals are even allowing fellow Pagans to visit inmates, offering prayers, healing stones, and small rituals to aid his or her recovery. They are also permitted small gods and goddesses to have at their bedside.

    Honestly, I’m shocked this notion hasn’t been brought up years ago. Though I’m not sure just how wise it is to give sticks to inmates.

    Shiv fights can now be replaced by twig fights… which might work out better than those beatings with Jesus soap on a rope…

    Last Will and Excrement…


    2008 - 05.11

    Police in Wisconsin found a deceased 90-year-old women sitting on a toilet in Necedah. She had been dead since March 4th. A religious fanatic didn’t want her to be moved.

    They were only waiting. Waiting for her to come back to life.

    The family had been living there the entire time, burning incense to cover up the smell and blasting gospel music in an effort to revive the elderly woman. Tammy Lewis said that God spoke to her and told her that Magdeline Middlesworth would be revived through prayers. Her two teenage children also lived in the home throughout the ordeal, but Lewis would only follow the instructions of “Bishop” John Peter Bushey (pronounced ‘boo-SHAY’).

    So there she sat in the bathroom. The only bathroom.

    Allegedly, Bushey had told the 12-year-old boy that “demons were trying to make it look as if Middlesworth wouldn’t come back to life” and if her body was discovered, he and his sister would have to go to school and get jobs.

    Middlesworth is believed to have passed away through natural causes, but an autopsy is scheduled. Both Lewis and Bushey are facing felony counts of being a party to causing mental harm to a child, with an additional charge of obstructing an officer for Lewis.

    Happy Mother’s Day… be glad your mother isn’t this rotten!